kindness counts
My kids’ school devotes one assembly each year to the subject of kindness. The benevolent “Count of Kindness” (Dracula’s alter-ego) comes on the auditorium stage and touts the benefits of being good to others. This is not just a message for the very young. According to this Ode article profiling the work of Italian therapist and author Piero Ferrucci, kindness has been key to our successful evolution. In Ferrucci’s words: “Kindness is the most economical attitude there is. You don’t waste energy on mistrust, worry, dislike and manipulation.” But, he warns, kindness may not come as easily in the current “ice age of the heart” where the human warmth and connection we need is “marketed like a product.” How do we reconnect to our kindest selves? According to Ferrucci, there are two major obstacles to kindness. “The first obstacle is passing judgement [sic], on yourself or others. The second obstacle: telling others what they should do or who they should be, giving them advice and trying to control them.” These two kindness blockers certainly come into play in the everyday practice of law. But, lawyers can overcome them by taking off our mantle of absolute authority, bypassing black letter rhetoric and really paying attention to our clients’ stories and needs. As Ferrucci sees it, this type of attention is a form of empathy. And once people feel that you’re putting yourself in their shoes, they’re able to head down a path of resolution and healing. The trust relationship forged through this dynamic represents kindness-in-action. This is why Ferrucci states: “You don’t have to choose between being kind to yourself and others. It’s one and the same.”
