legal sanity

I previously wrote about Tim Sanders and his terrific book Love is the Killer App . His new book, The Likeability Factor, is out and I can't wait to read it. According to his official site, in this book, Sanders extrapolates on the basic theory that "people who are well liked are more apt to get what they want out of life than those who are disliked" by outlining the "four personality traits he says contribute to a person's likeability—namely, friendliness, relevance (do you connect on interests or needs?), empathy and 'realness' (genuineness or authenticity)." In my experience, most lawyers are not well-versed in the value of being real, empathic and likeable. In fact, most rainmaking seminars teach us how to extol our own (or our firm's) virtues in arm's length interactions that are more robotic and rote than warm and personal. As this recent Inc.com article suggests, people who eschew intimacy in favor of the "let's talk about me" school of rainmaking are missing the boat: "They're building transactional, peripheral, unimportant contacts. They're making all kinds of introductions without ever really connecting. They're not building relationships. They're passing out business cards." If you're curious about your likeability factor, Sanders provides this short self-assessment exercise(pdf).