legal sanity

In January, I wrote about conflict management and the business of law. Conflict manifests in our daily lives in many ways. And we tend to tend to it differently, depending on the context in which it arises. A dispute with a life partner or child usually triggers a different response mechanism than one with a business partner, client or adversary. However conflict germinates and plays out for us, it's important to get a handle on how to optimize the opportunities it offers for our positive growth and transformation. One resource to help us on this path is conflict coaching, a process that professional conflict coach Cinnie Noble writes about in this recent Mediate.com article. Focusing on distinguishing it from the likes of therapy, mentoring and mediation, Noble defines conflict coaching as "an individualized method for helping people effectively engage in conflict." She also points out that the goals of conflict coaching participants "may not only be about resolving conflict." Instead, people engaging the process "may want to work on ways to prevent a dispute from unnecessarily escalating, to improve their competency in conflict management, to develop stronger communication skills for a difficult conversation and other objectives, that are often more about managing, than resolving." While I appreciate the distinction Noble makes, I've come to see lawyer conflict management and conflict resolution skills as complementary parts of a larger skill set - problem solving. As lawyers, and human beings, we need to hone our aptitude for identifying and resolving problems. Business consultant and coach Dick Richards offers us the gift of his genius in the form of this terrific article on The Human Dimension of Problem Solving (pdf). In it, he vividly details how conscious shifts in "the four dimensions of human energy" - Physical Energy, Mental Energy, Emotional Energy and Spiritual Energy - can positively infuse and shape the problem solving process.

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I've previously posted on the emerging Conceptual Age and Dan Pink's terrific book on the subject, A Whole New Mind. The book gives Pink's take on the essential right-brain-based skills we need to own and hone to thrive in this new era - Design, Story, Symphony, Empathy, Play and Meaning. Now, over at his blog, Pink directs us to a great mind map synopsis of the book by fellow blogger Steve Richards. Richards' overview works especially well for the visual learners among us. Picking up on a key Conceptual Age lawyering skill - Empathy - is a recent article by my friend Steve Keeva called What Tears May Tell. In it, Steve offers some anecdotes and insights about the importance of connecting with our clients on an emotional level. He sums it up well by stating: "The fact is, allowing yourself to show genuine emotion in others' presence is to communicate in a special way, one that acknowledges your humanity and opens the door to deeper connections."

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In a recent post on the culture of dissatisfaction, author, blogger and change agent Seth Godin discusses how Las Vegas - with its bright lights and lustful lure - both salves and fuels the discontent that's rapidly "accelerating through every market and community on Earth." People are "unhappy all the time," Godin asserts, and jump from person to person, product to product, service to service and experience to experience in a frenetic attempt to fill a void created by all this unhappiness. According to Godin, we can counter this epidemic malaise by building relationships with "real people." He says, "Relationships that make us feel counted upon, respected, trusted and valued cut through the ennui of dissatisfaction." I think Godin is onto something big here. But there's more under the hood. Meaningful relationships may very well stem the tide of dissatisfaction we're experiencing in, and outside of, the legal profession. Before we can meaningfully relate to others, however, we need to meaningfully connect (or re-connect) with ourselves. Somewhere along the line, many of us lose sight of our own greatness and aptitudes. We forget what fulfills us - that is, what sparks and supports our curiosity, interests and desires. It's this disconnect of self from self that's at the heart of the individual and societal depletion Godin depicts. So, unless we take steps to re-acquaint with ourselves, the relationships we forge with others might soothe - but likely won't cure - any discontent we're experiencing in the law and beyond.

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In an earlier post about lawyer-client relationships, I referred to David Maister's terrific book, The Trusted Advisor, and his related article Do You Really Want Relationships? (originally flagged by Gerry Riskin). The article points up the differences between client transactions and client relationships, stating that consumers of professional services strongly prefer the latter type of interaction. Despite this preference, Maister asserts, relationship-minded advisors are a relatively rare breed in today's business world. The gist of Maister's thesis is further explored in a new Law Marketing Portal article by consultant Darcie Davis titled Becoming a Trusted Advisor [excerpted from a marketing report captioned Do You Trust Your Lawyer? (pdf)]. The piece tracks executive views on the hallmarks of lawyer-client relationships of "the highest level" - that is, relationships where the lawyer is considered a "trusted advisor with strategic input that influences an executive's decision." Among the characteristics the execs cite (as ordered and linked together by me) are: "Tell me the good and the bad and give me absolute two-way candor; Give me advice I need to avoid litigation in the worst case; Have the ability to put themselves in my shoes with knowledge about my business, our culture, our constraints and realities; Be a business partner with broad business insights to give me business advice; They are responsive to requests on changes to their billing format, timing and detail; He doesn't talk down to us; He demonstrates he is more interested in helping us than in making money in the short term." Of the executives tapped for the report, 54% responded that they've forged this optimal trust-based relationship with a legal advisor.

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Last week, Dan Hull of What About Clients? put out a call for commentary on Lovemarks - brands that inspire loyalty beyond reason - in the law. Dan's interest was sparked by this query/remark from Patrick Lamb of In Search of Perfect Client Service: "does anyone love their law firm and its brand enough to have the name of the firm permanently inked onto their body?" While Patrick was talking about client love, I took on his question and Dan's call from a different perspective. Dan's already posted a full screenshot of my remarks on Lovemark branding (thanks, Dan), so I'll just extract the core for you here: Because we're in a service profession, any law firm effort to imprint a Lovemark has to start with its service providers - the firm's lawyers and non-lawyer staff. These people have to be passionate about what they're doing; where they're doing it; and who they're doing it for. (To quote myself) "Without this internal passion core, law firm branding efforts might generate clients, but not the kind of clients who will shout the firm's praises from the rafters (or permanently ink its name on their bodies)." If a picture paints a thousand words, then the primary value of employee evangelists is beautifully rendered in this aptly-captioned photo passed along by Ben McConnell and Jackie Huba of the Church of the Customer Blog. For a related viewpoint, check out the [non]billable hour, where guest blogger Ron Baker discusses the importance of harnessing the passion of our employee volunteers. Dave Lorenzo adds another dimension to the discussion with a Career Intensity blog post on the emergent individual economy.

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A few weeks ago, I offered this roundup on bettering communication skills. Adding to the chorus of how-tos is this article from Stewart Levine on the Essentials of Effective Communication. Among other helpful tips for forging "the verbal links that join you with the object of the influence you want to have," Levine shares this compelling insight: "The Chinese Character for communication consists of three separate symbols: Eyes, Ears and Heart." That communication involves all three of these human dimensions is evident in this post on The Art of Schmoozing from Guy Kawasaki. While intended as a primer on relationship-building, the post contains a strong undercurrent of communication dos and don'ts, including these: understand the goal (a/k/a discover what you can do for the other person); unveil your passions; and ask good questions, then shut up. Since effective negotiation is all about effective communication, Lee Miller's article on the Eleven Commandments for Smart Negotiating provides several valuable pointers on getting our point across.

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Career passion is a topic I've addressed here multiple times in various forms. And it's one that comes up again and again in conversations I have with people attending my training and development programs. Many lawyers express a sense of loss: they tell me that the wonder and excitement that accompanied their first few days, weeks, months, years (choose one) of practicing law have vanished. They've shifted into autopilot and can't seem to come out of that rote space where they tend to pigeonhole clients and matters according to some black letter prescription. As I admit in these conversations, I can relate to this sense of loss. It's a depleting place to be because it impacts us on so many levels. This point is emphasized by Kathy Sierra in a recent post at Creating Passionate Users. She asserts that, when we adopt a "just-a-job-attitude" (or, as she puts it, when we start phoning it in) we damage our sense of self and our client connections. So, how do we go about un-doing the damage and re-igniting our passion for practicing law? While Sierra doesn't provide a definitive answer to this question, she does stress that it's not about our actual job (associate, partner, solo practitioner). It's about the act of lawyering itself. We need to "sit [ ] down and force [ourselves] to remember" what we loved about being a lawyer in those early days of wonder and excitement. Hopefully, these surfaced memories will provide the flint needed to re-spark our career passion.

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Back in November, I talked about goal mapping as a way to examine where we stand vis-à-vis our vision of career success. As a companion resource, I linked to this great set of goal mapping templates and instructions (pdf) from the folks at Lift International. Adding to this career assessment brew is an article I recently found at lifehack.org called 9 Steps to Define your Goal Destination and Devise a Plan to Get There. The piece refers to "goal destinations" as the main things we want to accomplish in life and that we'd regret not doing if we suddenly found ourselves with "a limited amount of time left on the earth." It then walks us through the process of identifying our goals, setting a time-frame for reaching them and creating action points that move us towards our destinations. For more inspiration on working and living in line with our real goals, passion and purpose, check out Patricia Digh's terrific blog, 37 days.

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One of my favorite blogs is Presentation Zen by Garr Reynolds. His tips on presentation design and delivery are excellent and have informed my work as a speaker and trainer in the professional services sector. In a recent post, Reynolds offers several presentation imperatives derived from his reading of The Cluetrain Manifesto - the acclaimed book on the nature of business in a digital world. Cluetrain declares that markets are two-way conversations between company (widget maker, service provider, presenter…) and consumer (customer, client, audience member…). And, Reynolds opines, what folks on the consumer side of the conversation stream "yearn for [ ] is authenticity and transparency, simplicity, and a real human, emotion-without-the-BS approach to communicating." With this in mind, he adapts 10 items from Cluetrain's 95 Theses that "can serve as good advice or reminders for how we [lawyer-presenters] need to connect and engage with our audiences today." Among Reynolds' gems are (1) Audiences are not abstractions. They consist of human beings "worthy of our full attention and respect." (2) "Your speaking does not have to be perfect. In fact, perfect speech and too much polish may alienate a crowd. It's not real." (3) We can create the best presentations simply by seeing them as opportunities to converse with others about something we care about from the gut, heart and soul. (4) "A good presentation is like a good blog: it's transparent, unique, fresh, honest, authentic, and accurate even if not perfect."

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A little while back, James Hassett of the Law Firm Business Development blog discussed his takeaways from a recent talk consultant Paul Clifford gave at a New England Legal Marketing Association meeting. Considering trends for "Law Firms in the 21st Century," Clifford offered insights into "what clients want, and what lawyers need to provide to succeed in this challenging market." Among the success touchstones Clifford cited were: accessibility, listening skills, responsiveness, understanding of the client's business, and a team approach to meeting the client's needs. The last of these markers - the call for lawyers and other firm staffers to collaborate on client relationship management - caught my attention and got me thinking about how the traditional law firm milieu will have to change to facilitate this kind of teamwork. One change I envision is that firms will need to strongly embrace not just mentoring, but co-mentoring. Co-mentoring is a term and process I learned about through Janet Hanson of the acclaimed 85 Broads network. Partners in a co-mentoring relationship (think young associate and seasoned lawyer/rainmaker) see themselves as equals who both bring tremendous value to the mix. After all, current clients, client-prospects and lawyer-prospectors come from both sides of the generational divide that often stymies lawyer business relations today. Co-mentors can help each other bridge this gap to forge meaningful and lasting client relationships.

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