valuing your self in the practice of law
My recent posts about narcissism and self-awareness in the practice of law prompted a friend of mine to question the boundary between the two concepts.
This is a great question.
I’m not a therapist, won’t pose as one and certainly can’t give a clinical definition. But, I’ll share my layman’s take on the answer.
As I’ve noted here before, many people resist the notion of self-reflection and self-expression as vital business skills because it raises the specter of the robber barons of yesterday (and today) – people often pejoratively described as Self-Absorbed; Selfish; Self-Centered; and Self–Aggrandizing. While I understand why they make this connection, I believe it’s a faulty one. There’s a big difference between being a complete narcissist and infusing a healthy sense of self (an amalgam of our needs, wants, interests and values) into our work and workplace relationships.
People certainly can take self-awareness and self-expression to an unhealthy extreme such as narcissism. When they do, there’s no room for anyone else. There’s no give and take. So, there’s little to no chance of creating mutually rewarding and lasting relationships in business or elsewhere. But, the same poor odds hold when we try to cultivate business connections without putting our self into the mix. As I’ve also previously asserted, business relationships are as much about valuing and evincing our selves as they are about reaching and helping others. Both aspects (self and other) need to be expressed and honored to foster lasting connections for business success and satisfaction.
Highlighting this last point is a mediate.com article by Trime Persinger titled What Do You Want? In it, Persinger looks at self-expression as an important, but unsung, relationship skill. Noting that our “parents, our peers, and our culture have taught us that it is selfish to ask for what we want,” she discusses why we shouldn't heed that lesson and offers guidance on asking for what we want from others.
