intimacy and lawyer-client relationships
My wife, Lori, and I just returned from a trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I was there to deliver a program with business relationship expert Keith Ferrazzi of Ferrazzi Greenlight.
This is a breathtaking part of our country – the natural beauty of Grand Teton and Yellowstone are not to be missed. I visited both as a teenager, but it was a whole new experience for me this time around. The trip also offered some great vistas on the underpinnings of successful client relationships in the law.
On our way out to Wyoming, I had the pleasure of meeting a United flight attendant named Brian Van Buren. As we boarded the plane in New York, Brian greeted us with a big hello and hearty laugh. I could tell this was a genuine introduction to a very warm and approachable person. During the in-flight service, we started talking. In the ensuing few hours, as he helped and joked with my fellow passengers, Brian returned to me at intervals. I learned that he wears many hats – among them, flight attendant, minister and hospice volunteer. He started his volunteer work after his wife died. We spoke about his passion for all aspects of his work in the world, about his personal challenges and triumphs, and about the nature of death and dying in our country. By the time we got off the plane in Denver, I felt a bond with Brian that went beyond the typical customer-service provider connection.
What forged this bond was intimacy.
As I’ve noted before, and as Keith Ferrazzi points out in his bestselling book, Never Eat Alone, many people shy away from the idea that intimacy is key to successful business relationships. By intimacy I’m referring to a willingness to get to know the human being behind the issue or need that comes across our desk (or the airplane call button). It’s basically the same kind of intimacy that fuels healthy connections to family and friends. Many lawyers find it hard to drop the mantle of authority and really get to know their clients as human beings who have fears, hopes and challenges. But, this kind of sincere human-to-human exchange is what compels prospects to become clients and compels clients to stay with us and refer us more business.
I revisited this same lesson during my stay at the terrific Snake River Lodge and Spa. The valet attendants went well beyond their job parameters to provide me and Lori with some great tips on area sites and dining. One young man, Ben, took it even a step further. When we returned the car to him after an outing, he followed up on his recommendation by asking how it played out for us. His focus on enhancing our experience made him and his service stand out.
This is a breathtaking part of our country – the natural beauty of Grand Teton and Yellowstone are not to be missed. I visited both as a teenager, but it was a whole new experience for me this time around. The trip also offered some great vistas on the underpinnings of successful client relationships in the law.
On our way out to Wyoming, I had the pleasure of meeting a United flight attendant named Brian Van Buren. As we boarded the plane in New York, Brian greeted us with a big hello and hearty laugh. I could tell this was a genuine introduction to a very warm and approachable person. During the in-flight service, we started talking. In the ensuing few hours, as he helped and joked with my fellow passengers, Brian returned to me at intervals. I learned that he wears many hats – among them, flight attendant, minister and hospice volunteer. He started his volunteer work after his wife died. We spoke about his passion for all aspects of his work in the world, about his personal challenges and triumphs, and about the nature of death and dying in our country. By the time we got off the plane in Denver, I felt a bond with Brian that went beyond the typical customer-service provider connection.
What forged this bond was intimacy.
As I’ve noted before, and as Keith Ferrazzi points out in his bestselling book, Never Eat Alone, many people shy away from the idea that intimacy is key to successful business relationships. By intimacy I’m referring to a willingness to get to know the human being behind the issue or need that comes across our desk (or the airplane call button). It’s basically the same kind of intimacy that fuels healthy connections to family and friends. Many lawyers find it hard to drop the mantle of authority and really get to know their clients as human beings who have fears, hopes and challenges. But, this kind of sincere human-to-human exchange is what compels prospects to become clients and compels clients to stay with us and refer us more business.
I revisited this same lesson during my stay at the terrific Snake River Lodge and Spa. The valet attendants went well beyond their job parameters to provide me and Lori with some great tips on area sites and dining. One young man, Ben, took it even a step further. When we returned the car to him after an outing, he followed up on his recommendation by asking how it played out for us. His focus on enhancing our experience made him and his service stand out.
