legal sanity

In my most recent post on intimacy and the lawyer-client relationship, I wrote: “It’s basically the same kind of intimacy that fuels healthy connections to family and friends. Many lawyers find it hard to drop the mantle of authority and really get to know their clients as human beings who have fears, hopes and challenges. But, this kind of sincere human-to-human exchange is what compels prospects to become clients and compels clients to stay with us and refer us more business.”

The bottom line is that our business relationships are not the cool, aloof, dull and dry second-cousin of our personal relationships. Business relationships are personal. They require us to be genuine and empathic. So, when we’re out in the world engaging with prospects and clients, it’s important to throw our selves into the mix. It’s also important to understand those aspects of our selves that tend to attract and repel people.

In a post called How to be likable to people who are complaining about you, columnist Penelope Trunk candidly reports on her recent experience with a panel audience that took issue with her message and her personal demeanor. Gerry Riskin similarly weighs the business-personal nexus in a post listing 7 Client Interaction Blunders That Blow It Every Time. The list includes: (1) Not being yourself; (2) Not listening and (3) Trying to be cool or aloof. Notably, Riskin derives his list from a post by fellow blogger Brad Isaac illuminating 10 First Date Blunders That Blow It Every Time.

Author and speaker Tim Sanders lends another perspective on navigating the personal side of business relationships in a commentary titled Don’t say an unkind word to help. He reminds us that a tameless tongue can wreak havoc on our business and personal connections.

This last point was recently brought home for me by a Small Firm Business article called Small Firms Think Big When It Comes to Clients. The piece gives me a very nice nod for the client service I provide to Equinox Fitness Clubs. But it features (with a photo no less) my former law partner Larry Rosen, now of Rosen Weinhaus in New York. Along with Corey Kupfer, Larry and I partnered in a successful Wall Street practice for five years. Although we all decided to go our separate ways - and naturally experienced some tensions during the dissolution – we’ve kept our business and personal ties intact. In fact, Equinox initially contacted me about handling its trademark work on Larry’s recommendation.